1. MARRIAGE IS DEFINED AS BEING BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN. DEFINITIONS MATTER.
Definitions evolve over time. As Jon Stewart pointed out polygamy used to be a valid form of marriage. There was also a time when members of different races couldn’t wed. So to suggest the current “man-woman” definition is somehow set in stone is ludicrous. Heck, if you check most online dictionaries at this point, they now list same-sex marriage as a form of marriage. You’re losing the definition battle! And frankly, I just can’t put the definition of a word ahead of a person’s civil rights.
2. MARRIAGE IS ABOUT PROCREATION, CREATING THE NEXT GENERATION.
If that’s the case, do we ban the elderly or the infertile from getting married too? There are couples who can have children but choose not to. Should a marriage license only be given to couples who intend to have children?
3. 30 STATES PASSED GAY MARRIAGE BANS
This is the “But, MOM, everyone else is doing it!” argument. So my natural response is “If all those people jumped off a bridge, would you jump off too?” Just because a bunch of people vote for something doesn’t mean it’s right. I’m pretty sure the majority of people who voted for George W. Bush in 2004 regretted it after Hurricane Katrina hit. And there’s been polling in California that indicates if a revote on Prop 8 was held, it would no longer pass.
4. WE NEED TO CONFIRM TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE
I’m constantly baffled by the idea that the marriage of a gay couple could threaten a “traditional marriage.” Personally, I think straight people are a much larger threat to the so-called traditional marriage. 50% of “traditional marriages” end in divorce. If we really want to confirm traditional marriages, shouldn’t we put some effort into lowering that number instead of persecuting gay people who desperately want this right that straight people seem so casual about abusing? Whether it’s someone like Anna Nicole Smith marrying for money or an Elizabeth Taylor marrying (and then divorcing) 7 different men, shouldn’t those be the people we should ban from getting married? If we’re really about protecting the institution of marriage, shouldn’t we outlaw gold-diggers and serial brides first? They seem to be a bigger threat to this hallowed institution. Two people of the same-sex who are deeply in love shouldn’t be able marry, but the 25-year old blonde with giant fake breasts can marry the 95-year old wrinkly, liver-spotted guy wearing diapers who’s pulling along his oxygen tank?! Give me a break! There is nothing hallowed about this institution anymore! Hollow, however…
5. IF WE ALLOW GAY MARRIAGE, ALL LIFESTYLES MUST BE ACCOMMODATED (INCLUDING POLYGAMY)
This is my FAVORITE of all arguments against gay marriage. “If we let two guys marry, what’s to stop my friend from saying he wants to marry his goat?” What stops that is common sense. The law would just change from saying it’s “a union between a man and a woman” to “a union between two people.” That’s it. There’s no bestiality or polygamy clause. It won’t suddenly say, “Yay incest!” And to compare homosexuality to polygamy, incest, pedophilia, etc. is despicable. I know Huckabee only mentioned polygamy, but others on his side of the issue have gone further down that disgusting road (*cough* Rick Warren *cough*).
6. BEING GAY IS A LIFESTYLE CHOICE, IT’S MUCH DIFFERENT THAN A PERSON BEING BLACK
It’s amazing to me that conservatives still trot out this old argument after so many of their own have been caught making this same “choice.” You’ve got conservative preachers having to go to de-gayification camp, and Republican senators soliciting gay sex in men’s bathrooms. Do you think they were all just sitting around one day and thought, “Hmmm… you know what I think I’m going to do? I’m going to ruin my career and engage in that ‘gay lifestyle’ my base hates so vehemently.” Do you think people would just volunteer to be persecuted? This may be a poor analogy, but I’m going to go with it anyway: I’m left-handed. Can I write with my right hand? Sure. Does it feel natural? Hell no. Are there gay people trying to live as straight people? Sure. Does it feel natural? Probably not. In the 18th and 19th century, left-handed people suffered severe prejudice and often they would be beaten in an attempt to destroy the left-handedness. My hope is that in the near future our prejudice against gays and lesbians will seem just as silly as that against left-handers back then seems now.
7. MARRIAGE IS NOT JUST ABOUT PROCREATION, BUT ALSO TRAINING OUR REPLACEMENTS
While Huckabee didn’t say it outright, the implication here was that gay people aren’t fit to raise children. My main problem with this statement, past the obvious, is Huckabee had just said not all people who were against gay marriage were homophobic. I’m sorry but there’s nothing more homophobic than saying gay parents are less fit to raise children than straight parents. Here’s a little exercise you can try if you want to know if a position of yours is homophobic: replace the word “gay” with the word “black.” If the statement then sounds really racist, guess what? Your position is homophobic! Homophobia just happens to be more acceptable than racism currently in our society.
Ultimately, I don’t have a personal stake in this. Despite my love of Project Runway and Gilmore Girls, I’m very much straight. I do have a gay cousin who I adore, but she and her girlfriend just moved to Texas, so I’m fairly certain they have no intention of getting married anytime soon. And, frankly, if Dick Cheney and Newt Gingrich can have gay children/siblings and still be against gay marriage, I don’t think having a gay relative necessarily defines my opinion on this issue. I just think everyone should have the same rights, that’s it. And I hate that conservatives, who are so anti-regulation when it comes to the free market, want to regulate our personal lives based on their own beliefs. Gay marriage doesn’t devalue straight marriage. The strength of any marriage is determined by the two individuals who made that commitment. And to put you and/or your religion’s ideas of morality above the happiness and the rights of such a large section of our society seems incredibly selfish and just plain bigoted to me.